...And it Comes To an End.

I believe that one of the benefits of staying married and enduring all the trials a marriage goes through as they raise their children is happiness. Throughout the whole semester we have discussed how we need to move away from the "natural" and create something "divine." As we work to make our marriage divine, our families are more likely to become divine.

So where does it start??

Family of Origin (The family you were born into.)
Dating
Courting
Engagement
Marriage
Baby
Middle Children years
Teen years
Last Child
Empty Nesters
(Now the married couple usually redefines their relationship)
Retirement
Care for Parents
Death

Usually when someone is passing through their "mid-life crisis" it is because they are asking themselves, "Have  I made a significant contribution? What am I leaving behind? Are my children a product of who I am and will contribute to society?" They are trying to find their sense of meaning again. Happiness comes through seeing all that you have gone through and still ending up on top in the end. When we have an eternal perspective, we are able to make better choices as we rear our families and gain eternal memories.

Who Gets Married to Get Divorced?

No one does.

When we fall in love with that "special someone" the last thing we think is, "I can't wait to get divorced." Even then we don't think, "If I got divorced, I'd want to get remarried."

I believe a divorce is not really what they want. What is wanted is change. A good change, a change that will keep their family and relationship together in a way that will help them be happy. As we distance ourselves in a relationship though, we can choose fight or flight. We don't want to get hurt, so distancing ourselves seems logical. But as we do so, the more complaining that takes place, and the more defensive we become, the more distant we are. That will them turn into avoidance.

How does divorce and remarriage affect children?

• They have to decide which parent to live with, which can be traumatizing.
• Child can become a mediator.
• Struggles in school.
• A loss of resources.
• Try to please all the parents.
• There can be a lack of respect of step-parents.
• Guilt and shame

When it comes to discipline, the biological parent should give the "hard discpline."
Also, the step-parent should give the role of being an aunt or uncle.

Marriage needs to be the foundation of a family. So work on the marriage is important for the family to be strong. No one wants to get married to get divorced. 

Choices, Choices, Choices

There are so many choices that we have to make in this life, and there are some pretty important and significant ones that we must make. Some of these choices are to get married, or not to, to have children or not to, if the marriage goes "bad" to get a divorce, or not to, and lastly to remarry or not to.  I BELIEVE that there would be more marriages, children and stronger families if all people had the restored gospel and choose to follow it. Since we have the Holy Ghost to help us make the correct decisions, it would allow us to want to get married, have children (and not just a couple), and stay together building a righteous eternal family.

I understand that when and how many children a married couple wants to have is between them and the Lord. There are many people delaying having children, methods are birth control, abortion, and simply having fewer children.

I want to be an involved parent, but not a helicopter mother. As we have children, we have to have already decided what type of parenting styles we want to use.  I want to be authoritative and think that is best for any child. Many fights can be avoided if parents simply gave their children options or choices. God always gives us a choice and we have our agency to choose right or wrong. As we live the gospel and have Christ centered homes, we are able to build a strong foundation. When we bring God into our family, it lives because He is able to touch us. As parents I think it is part of or responsibility to create an environment in which the spirit can dwell so all can seek and gain revelation.

As we live the gospel in our families, they will be happier, we can be better at avoiding divorce, therefore avoiding having to remarry.

Family Thanksgiving

I think that for the most part, holidays can bring families closer together, but I also think that because it can be a high stress time, it's harder to see the lovin'. It was weird to see how my family structure has changed over time. I noticed it the most during this break because neither of my siblings were there. Everything just felt different. I'd say everything was more relaxed and calm. We always want everything to turn out just right, but I feel like we just played things by ear and weren't as stressed as other times. Most families probably put a lot of effort into  holidays and it shows. As we work together towards a common goal and have learned to communicate effectively, there is love at home.