Do People Understand You?

Yep, that's basically the way it happens.

The way someone communicates really does tell about about them, who they are, their personality, ideas they have, their perspective, how they cope with different situations, how they feel, and what they think. This can happen through words, lack of words, tone of voice, and non-verbal communication. 

There are many times that people can clearly understand what our point is, and others that have no idea what point we are trying to get across. This is either because the receiver doesn't understand the message presented, or the giver is not expressing themselves in a clear manner for the other person to understand. It might be clear to one person and not the other, and that is why it is so important to have effective communication skills.

DID YOU KNOW?

Verbal
Words- 14%
Tone- 35%
Non-verbal 51%

So when communicating, there is actually being more communicated by your nonverbal and your tone of voice, than it is with your actual words.

Build people up in every conversation so that you can always communicate in a positive way.
There is great power that comes with someone who can communicate well.

Do you communicate well?
Do people understand you?
Can you decode what people communicate to you?

And remember instead of getting defensive in a conflict, communicate compassion and see what changes.

Crisis

When a family crisis occurs, the family can either be ripped apart or can pull them closer than they had ever been. A crisis can be anything from a death of a family member, to health problems, to divorce, to even having a new baby. Something interesting is that a family crisis is not always a bad thing though there is a bad connotation to it when we here the word.

Below is how the Japanese write the word "Crisis." It is "danger" and "opportunity" put together to understand they are saying "crisis." So we can see that there is an opportunity to grow though it may be a bumpy ride. When we go through a crisis we can turn inward and our family will support each other to get through it, or they will find support elsewhere and their whole family system could change. Below is an image of the word "Crisis" in Japanese. 





We can't control everything that happens in our lives, but we can control the choices we make. Learning to mentally let things go will help one not be depressed or have anxiety.

With the Symbolis Systems Theory, we can see how a crisis is represented:

A- actual event

B- resources and responses (how people utilize their resources)

C- cognitions
X - TOTAL EXPERIENCE

Think of some crisis' your family went through. How did your family react? How did you react? Did it change your family? Was your family pulled closer together and pushed apart?
How did you cope (or deal with the situation)?

During a crisis choose to allow that opportunity to bring family members closer together and endure through the trial.

“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.” ~ Elder Holland

Intimate or..."Into your mate"

 Marital (Sexual) Intimacy

Those with the most satisfying intimate relations are:
~Married couples
~The middle ages

Men usually want physical intimacy first and then as a result feel safe, care, and a closeness to the other person.Women usually need to feel safety, care and closeness first and then as a result they would physical intimacy. Sexual intimacy in a marriage is about the other person and satisfying their needs. It is should an act of love and selflessness.
Because men reach their climax faster than a woman, the woman can start to become  unsatisfied with their sexual intimacy and can thus feeling simply used instead of loved. Intimacy is very important and if their are clear defined boundaries that are not crossed, there can create a bond.

Some challenges that can arise are:
~Women are less satisfied
~Criticism for self or other
~Avoid sexual contact from fear
~Feeling unloved

Some opportunities are:
~Learn to think and care more about others
~More time together
~Close and united
~More opportunities to express yourself
~Forget about yourself and be selfless.
~Learn to please your spouse

Dating to Marriage

Dating
Courtship
Engagement
Marriage

As we date, we need to make sure we just don't slide right into engagement and forget about courtship. Courtship is a very important step because it is here were we lean an awful lot about the person to progress in the relationship or to terminate it. Once your have courted and seen your significant other in different situations, activities, environment, and how they interact with other people, it will help create a stronger bond and connect.

You decide when you would like to ask certain questions before you determine if you would like to plan a future with this person. Questions could include:
How many children to have and when?
Who does the housework?
What are the rules with the in-laws?
Where and what do you do for the holidays?
If there is a difference in opinion, who's wins?
Where to live?
Will the woman take his last name? Keep her own? Hyphenate it?


Establishing good patterns and habits early in marriage will help a marriage through the harder times.

There are transitions that really start the first day of marriage that we have to adapt and/or accommodate to.
Some include:
The roles of husband and wife
Schedule
Sleeping habits/sharing the bed
Eating habits
Spending habits/budgeting
Sharing bathroom, (personal space)
Personal activities

Be of "One flesh and one heart."